California; born and raised.
Pennsylvania; new home.
I’m putting my cat on a vegan diet.
"how could you do that! that’s animal abuse"
No it’s not. a vegan-only diet is actually very healthy for them.
"cats are carnivores. they need to eat meat"
I know. that’s why it’s a vegan-only diet. I feed them only the finest vegans I can find.
I was about to go off on you
SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
treat me like a college textbook. spend lots of money on me but never touch or look at me
no. treat me like your favorite book. keep me by your side, touch my every page, learn all my twists and turns, remember every word I say, even the ones that make you cry
*4-second-long fart noise*